Essays
My parents did vanlife. I turned out mostly normal. (Fodor’s, 2024)
What my worst boss taught me (Fortune, 2024)
My town fought Tentrr and my town won (Fodor’s, 2024)
You still need an exit strategy for bad dates (Funny Pearls, 2023)
Fake meat is not the answer (Newsweek, 2023)
I went to the Maldives. I regret it. (Fodor’s, 2023)
I took an $8,000 business-class flight with Virgin Atlantic (Insider, 2023)
What is an office? (Fortune, 2023)
Why my favorite semester is the one I spent at community college (Insider, 2023)
My quest for a loyal hound (Funny Pearls, 2023)
Humor
Why we, the staff at Happy Paws Animal Shelter, concealed the fact that your new dog is a Republican (Greener Pastures, 2024)
I’m married to the lead detective on this show (The Belladonna, 2024)
An updated pricing list for my emotional labor (Points in Case, 2024)
Influencing at the end of the world (The Satirist, 2024)
Oops! I lied on my resume and now I’m writing art placards at the Met (The Belladonna, 2024)
How to practice self-care when abortion is not an option (The Satirist, 2024)
I’m Totoro, and this is my self-acceptance journey (Defenestration, 2024)
I’m just a man who commits frequent acts of domestic abuse, standing before a girl, telling her to shut up so I can explain myself to you (The Satirist, 2023)
Help! I’m trapped inside the Sunday football commercial break (Points in Case, 2023)
I’m your CEO… and I want you back (Defenestration, 2023)
Diet tips for presidential hopefuls (Weekly Humorist, 2023)